"American Wedding": the Often Misinterpreted Meaning

Many misinterpret Frank Ocean's most famous unreleased song, American Wedding. Often interpreted as a long, mourning, tragic love story over the summer turns into a toxic relationship as you look closer. The 12th song off the mixtape Nostalgia, Ultra was released in February of 2011. Taken off of Spotify and other platforms due to legal disputes, specifically with the “Hotel California” sample from the Eagles used for his American Wedding. Although Ocean stated that he was paying homage to the legendary track it ultimately took the track from being widely available. This song circulates through many forums and can be found on YouTube. 

Commonly interpreted as Ocean reminiscing and longing for his summer lover, lines like “This tattoo on my left hand/is turning purple-ish blue” make it easy to follow this assumption (Ocean). The “tattoo” he is referring to is the wedding band that now hurts because the love has faded. Looking further, he yearns for her, “Daydreams of the romance/Daydreams of you” (Ocean). He will continue to sing about his American wedding with “pretty woman in a ballgown”, “married in a courthouse”, and “M-R-S dot Kennedy” (Ocean). Going farther he states the passion within the relationship through the lines like “Making out before the judge/with my teenage wife” they have a strong destructive passion as many teenagers do (Ocean). He quickly switches away from this wishing for her to come back. Ocean bargains saying that she can “have my mustang” being “all i’ve got in my name” (Ocean). In the outro, as the Hotel California sample cuts out he argues that he is better, and “these n***** can’t do nothin’ that I can’t do” (Ocean). What does this mean? Ocean is mourning his summer, a common theme throughout his future projects as well. Knowing the connection and relationship will never work he doesn’t understand how these other people are seen as better than him. Now it raises the question if it was so good why did it fail?

Ocean says “with my teenage wife” in this song they aren’t teenagers, she is a teenager. This song isn’t mourning his past lover, it is highlighting the hypocritical nature of “american love.” Ocean writes from the perspective of a predatory guy preying on a high schooler. What shows this? Lines such as “Sangria in a canteen” and “Have my mustang” suggest that this character is of a more mature age (Ocean). On the flip side, lines such as “after school she ran to me,” “teenage wife,” and “turned her term papers in” suggest that she is of a youthful age (Ocean). Through the use of her term paper research on Islamic cultures, Ocean highlights how hypocritical it is to shame on these Islamic cultures. The character will say, “those poor un-American girls” in response to “Virgin brides and arranged marriages/Hijabs and polygamist husbands” (Ocean). In the story this research possibly deferred her away from the character. Drawing similarities with the abusive relationship she has found her way into. This toxic dichotomy stems further in the lyrics, “Land of the brave/but your parents still didn’t know” his age-gap relationship is so bad it had to be hidden for they could’ve shown how bad it is (Ocean). He will try to leverage his wealth to seduce her into coming back with offering to give up his mustang. Toxic behavior continues specifically with trying to guilt trip this person, “if you stay, you’ll probably leave later anyway” (Ocean). “We been some hustlers since it began” the grooming that this character has done how long he has been this toxic to this person (Ocean). This ending is a conflict of emotions “they so vain, I tell ‘em this ain’t you” controlling who she is, and trying to suggest that she is better than this (Ocean). The character shows a variety of toxic manipulating characteristics claiming to be “american love” (Ocean). What is this american love? In the story there is an ideal of marriage and dreams of what they think it should be, something many teenage relationships struggle with age gap or not. The wishing of something, without taking the proper steps to build something real. Chasing this idealized love, the american dream of a house two kids and a white picket fence thats often talked about. Searching for this as a goal instead of a relationship and connection between two people can be harmful. 

Why did Ocean decide to highlight the harmful nature of these predatory relationships? In one of his more notable and heartfelt projects, Blonde, he mentions his own experiences with being preyed upon and his relationship with much older partners. He explains the mental damage that this has brought upon him. Look at the other article diving into the entirety of blonde if that is more interesting. 

Other cool parts.

In the third movie of the series, American Pie, the movie American Wedding in 2003 shows the relationship of two characters scrambling together for a rushed wedding. They do this by exploring the hardships of growing up. This movie is likely a reason to why Ocean named it an American Wedding. Early in the first verse, Ocean writes, “My pretty woman in a ballgown/My Richard Gere in a tux” to reference actor Richard Gere in Pretty Woman (Ocean). Pretty Woman is a movie where a strictly professional relationship turns to real as the main characters slowly start to fall for each other. It critiques transactional relationships as that is the way they started, and it will explore how you can’t substitute money for real love. Ocean included this reference as the same way his character tried to do this by offering up his mustang.