Swimming, Mac Miller's Greatest Work

Mac Millers most heartfelt album highlighted by the vulnerability shown in his lyrics. Many people attempt to hide personal struggles, trying to bolster their personal image. In some way its believed that struggles is bad, a personal failure. Going against this societal norm Mac Miller’s Swimming will be a deep dive into their own personal struggles that he has faced. Although nothing new within music what will set his album apart is the perspective he will take. Mac Miller won’t claim he is past these struggles, or even that he will make it past. The theming that Swimming takes is one of trying.

CONTEXT:

Thrust into the limelight at a young age with Blue Slide Park reaching #1 on the charts at just 19 years old. Reviews were harsh on the young Mac stating in an interview with Complex, “It felt personal. It wasn’t like, ‘Here’s why I don’t like it musically,’ it was more like, ‘Here’s why I don’t like Mac Miller.’” Harsh reviews can have lasting mental effects, for Mac sipping lean was used as a crutch. Throughout his childhood, he was desperate for money, dabbling in selling weed. Trying to scrounge up any money to get into the studio. These weren’t the only struggles he faced, managing to quit lean he has relapsed, hating being sober. 2018 appeared to be a tough year for Miller, a public breakup with fellow pop star Ariana Grande after a two-year relationship. A DUI also plagued his mental health throughout the year. He has had a tough year relayed in his most artistically mature album. 

Come Back to Earth:

The intro song to the album will lay a foundation for the rest of the album. “I was drownin’, but now I’m swimin’” if you were to take one quote about what this album means, this is it (Miller). Mac Miller is trying, in the album he gets more specific with his details. Starting this off with his relationship with Solace, the comfort in being sad. Mac will put it as, “Don’t you know that sunshine don’t feel right/When you inside all day?”(Miller). The struggle with being better is that it feels uncomfortable to him. Although it is “better” to him it doesn’t feel that way. Change is difficult even if it is for the better. Mac wishes for a “way out/of my head” (Miller). What’s interesting about this is that Mac doesn’t blame the lean, the critics, or other people he blames himself wishing to be free from his own mind.

Hurt Feelings:

The second track on the album communicates his problems with stardom. As with most Mac had big dreams “always said I want it all” but now he has tremendous success “it’s not enough” (Miller). The success hasn’t solved his issues as he once had hoped. Now that he is “richer” it “only made me crazy” (Miller). More money, more problems for Mac this has rained true. The final verse of this song shows how great the success is. He asks himself “Why you lyin’” knowing that he truly is struggling and at some point accountability is needed (Miller). The success is weird to him even though for the majority of his adult life is what he is used to. He is in a state of deep confusion. 

What’s the use?

Mac asks What’s the use of him being sober, from substances and relationships. “What if I don’t need it?” The desire he shows to be sober, but “there’s something about it that just freaks me out” (Miller). The fear of change, continuing to feel comfortable in the sadness. The drugs have been the way he has coped for so long. How is he without them? The unanswered questions loom over him, its scary to be sober to live without what has propped him up for so long. Mac references the hater,s “they say you're nothing without it” and doesn’t want to prove them right (Miller) The criticisms of his character he has internalized. 

Perfecto

The striving and illusion we face towards perfection. Imperfection feels like failure, imperfect relationships, and largely focusing on the relationship he has had with substance abuse. Although trying to claim that he isn’t perfect but has accepted it, some of the lyrics will show a different story. “I’m treadin’ water, I know/ If I stop movin’, I’ll float” Mac says showing how close he is to ending up dead (Miller). The beat switches as the song comes to a close, wishing for this person to love him back again as they put him together once before, and needs them to do it again. 

Self Care

The meaning is in the title, Self Care, taking care of himself, and the steps he has taken. “Spendin’ nights hitchhikin’” in life and taking new experiences (Miller). Changing up the scenery has helped him significantly, even if the mental change explored in earlier parts of the album, taking a physical change to correlate with emotional issues, has been beneficial. This has helped him as he is “Climbin’ over that wall” making it, but “the height be too tall” (Miller). The memories that has built up the wall remain, even if he is climbing over, he can’t forget. With the height being too tall, “like September I fall” referencing to 9/11 and some foreshadowing to his future (Miller). The first verse claims that he is taking care of himself, and the next verse shows a different side. At this point in the song overthinking has taken over “I been readin’ them signs/I been losin’my, I been losin’ my, I been losin’ my mind” (Miller).  What proceeds this is Mac expressing how he knows he has a good life, and how he should feel fulfilled and good but doesn’t. “Somebody save me from myself.” This call for help, even if he is doing self-care he needs this outside help. As the track will come to a close, he repeats oblivion (The state of being unaware or unconscious of what is happening), forgetting is easier than getting over it. This is possibly a large reason why substance abuse has appeared so enticing to Mac. 

Wings

Throughout this song Mac repeats that “these are his wings” but what is he referring to (Miller)? What his wings show is what makes him fly after being down, how he is “growin’ up” even with “nobody holdin’ my hand” (Miller). Mac relates his struggle as a wall, “The walls keep gettin’ wider, I just hope I never find ‘em” (Miller). This time as opposed to having the wall grow taller they expand wider, the limits of his being. 

Ladders:

Even with doing well, Mac still struggles. What will summarize this song is the line “I know it feels so good right now/ But it all come falling down” (Miller). Mac takes away the good feeling in fear of losing it. This upbeat song seems happy, and it is, he claims to need it all but states that life is changing and it is all different. “We all we got” Mac understands that he might not get saved, the outside force won’t magically fix him but he still has to find a way (Miller). He is trying but it could all change and turn down for the worse in an instant

Small Worlds:

This song further explores his inner turmoil, trapped within his own mind. His mind feels confined and a Small World. Mac references this imaginary wall, “Building up a wall till it break” (Miller). This wall to keep other people out and him trapped within his mind, struggling to get over the wall even if he is the one building it. One of the reasons he is trapped within his mind is his success, “You never told me being rich was so lonely” (Miller). Another reason is that his substance abuse has distanced him: “Don’t want to grow old, so I smoke just in case”(Miller). What distances him the most is himself: “They know that I so need my space” (Miller). This fear that his demons will get to him, being unable to make it to tomorrow. He is hopeful for the future, saying it will be amazing if he makes it. This recurring theme holds true of him trying to make it, but knowing it's not a guarantee. The final verse is an honest memento and very sentimental. It starts out by him knowing he makes mistake but it is what humans do. He says that his mind was consumed and keeping him in but “the suns coming out now, clouds start to move” (Miller). Clawing a way out he sees tomorrow but he’s tired and scared what today brings. 

Conversation Pt. 1: 

A heartfelt conversation that Mac has with himself, exploring how different he is from his past self. Making the metaphor that he is on a spaceship, used as a way to represent his past selfs imagination and how he is now there but “shit is spacious” (Milller). It’s just a conversation trying to help his past self understand that the success that he has gained never helped him heal like he thought it would. 

Dunno:

Although comparatively not holding a lot of lyrics to the rest of the songs on the project, Dunno carries major significance to his reference to his past relationship. “Wouldn’t you rather get along” Mac will repeatedly asked (Miller). The confusion Mac feels surrounding the good moments reminiscing on them. As aforementioned in Perfecto he wants this person to hold him close and put him together practically begging at this point. At the end of the day he Dunno, he is confused and although hopeful he’ll be alright isn’t sure what the next steps are going to be. 

Jetfuel:

To kick off the song  Mac will reference swimming as his “head underwater but I ain’t in the shower and I ain’t getting baptized” (Miller). I find the use of showering and being baptized quite intriguing as these can be interpreted as a way of cleansing oneself. The harm that Mac believes he has  inflicted on his body and mental is to the point where he has recognized that he wants to be saved and needs help. What’s interesting is that with him recognizing this he doesn’t do it. He will instead opt for having “liquor still in my cup” and “getting faded when I wake up/cuz everything is too much” (Miller). Earlier Mac will reference this imaginary wall stating, “You can build a wall with your bricks” previously this wall has been the struggles he tries to overcome his limits generally built by himself (Miller). To interpret Mac as continuing to build this wall talking in the third person changes the meaning behind “Yall can’t tell me nothing no more” while at first look appears to be silencing haters can be seen as the inner demons and self criticisms (Miller). Mac runs on Jetfuel and it will all go down when he runs out of it, or so he claims that he will never run out. 

2009:

His most optimistic song, accepting his life for what it is “you gotta jump in to swim” and he “don’t have it all but that’s alright with me” (Miller). Mac by no means has solved his issues and struggles but has merely accepted them for what they are.

So it goes:

At this point in his career he has reached the top, the pinacle, what he has always dreamed of. The fear has settled into the back of his mind. “You could have the world in the palm of your hand/You still might drop it” (Miller). People want him to drop it and fail because that’s just how it goes, living with this reality. This expands what he started in 2009, accepting his life as it is.

 Summary: 

Mac is trying to find a way with all of his might and believes he can. The key to his survival is accepting who he is. This imaginary wall still haunts him, antagonizing him in weak moments. 

September 7, 2018:

Mac Miller died of an overdose. Although this may seem like a failure to what he was about, think about how long he lasted. He made it a lot longer than he thought he was going to. He is in a better place. We can all mourn the day, it gives a bittersweet meaning to him saying “like September I fall” (Miller). What we can learn from Mac is to try, even if he did die, the torch he held up made revelations within the music industry. The impact he had on others paved the way for us to be vulnerable with ourselves. Mac swimming inspires us to jump in.